Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

Well guys and gals, i finally leave for college on friday, making this sunday the final Mercer Block Quote Of The Week until next summer (maybe x-mas break if you're lucky)..its the very sad end of an era for me..this has been my favorite part of the blog to write each week, and most weeks have produced some really funny shit..i figured that instead of doing a quote this week, i would just make a top 10 list of my favorite quotes..i will miss Mercer Block to the fullest..i'd like to thank all my friends for saying hilarious stuff on the reg, you guys keep this shit alive.

(keep in mind, for some of these its the story that is the funny part, so just click on the quote and the story will pop up..also, i had to leave a lot of really funny ones out, but you can read them all here if you have some time.)

10. "too classy to flush it.." -Ryan Brost

9. "GOD DAMMIT PEOPLE, DOESNT ANYONE KNOW WHO FUCKING WILL SMITH IS?!?" -Ryan Brost

8. "aw man Birk, well if I were home, I would put bengay in my mouth and give you a BJ to make it feel better...cuz thats what bachelors do." -Tom Rush

7. "hey Clements, last time you were eating peanut butter crackers around me, SHIT HIT THE FAN."- Patrick Rose

6. "This brings me back to the root of this issue, Dan...PISS IN A FUCKING TOILET." -Pat Rose

5. "you are a loose girl Jana, you just never knew it." -Dr. William Gomez

4. "You rape me on a daily basis, Danny." -Mary Ellen Vooky

3. "Pat, i know that you wanna show up to the game late with your designer self, but i'm actually trying to watch the fuckin football game." -Vic Rose

2. "Great fucking web." -Ben Chapin

1. "I would hug it out, but this beer pour is way more important...you know that dan." -Patrick Rose

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

Sorry this is a couple days late..i know people are getting pissed at me about my lack of posting, but just bare with me..anyways, the other day Yu-Gi-Oh, Birk, Patches and myself roasted a bone and watched the ridiculously awesome green light thing that Birk bought for Birkfest..while we were doing this Birk brought up the fact that people kept asking him if they needed to bring anything to the fest, and Dan was like "yea dude, you should totally tell them to bring food..." and Birk responded to that with....

"FUCK NO, they should bring BEER..and when you get hungry, you drink BEER.....and when you get thirsty, you drink juice." -Matthew Birkhofer

p.s. Birk's GREAT definition (kinda) of the word BUNE....Bune- the word you can't define....but you know the definition to.

beautifully put...(sorry for those of you who have no idea what i'm talking about.)

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

So, this week's quote might sound a little weird, so sorry for that in advance..but, all weekend we have been at the beach with my cousins and my grandparents..my grandmother is kinda known for being a little LOCO sometimes, and she has a hard time holding back her thoughts once in a while..so, Jana was wearing a more promiscuous shirt for Nanny's taste and this just came out...

"Jana put your titties away"..(we all stare, and laugh)..."what, titties isn't a bad word, is it?" -Margaret "Nanny" Radice

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

Hello all..i'm very very sorry that i have been slacking super hard lately, but these little kids have really been kick my ass on a daily basis, and its just been a rough week on top of that..so this week's quote comes from a friday night, and me and Tommy decided to leave the depths of the Pad to take a trip to Best Buy (nuts trip btw)..but anyways, we walk outside after being glued to the couches for hours, doing God knows what and it was a beautiful night..the air was crisp, the stars were bright, the temperature was perfect, just good shit all around, so Tommy and myself were appreciating it and he came out with...

"Man, i am pretty fuckin' content with the way that the last 5 seconds went." -Tom Rush

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

That time of the week again folks..so Mike, Judah, Rob and myself were all sitting and talking in Mike's pool after a day of being blessed by the herb's essence..countless conversations happened throughout the many hours of sitting in that pool, and somehow the topic of a cow's organs came up, so Rob randomly interrupts and says....

"yo, speaking of cows....we really gotta go to Wendy's." -Rob Alicea

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

Pretty damn good week for quotes this week..there were a few good ones that were really in the running, but Professor Dan Vooky tops them all..so, we were all sitting around talking and shit at Mike's house for Judah's 21st birthday, when 3 African American kids that Judah and Mike used to play basketball with walk in the front door..Dan taps Judah on the shoulder and says...

"Yo Judah, your brothers are here..." -Dan Vukcevich

(keep in mind that literally none of Judah's brothers live anywhere close to here), so Judah looks at him and says "what the fuck are you talking about?" Dan then realized that he had just mistaken these three random kids for Judah's brothers and told them they were here in front of the whole party...idiot.

I also have Mercer Block Story Of The Week this week..god, if someone would have taped this, it would be a youtube sensation..but anyways the story goes like this..the other night, Ophelia had a party at her house..everyone got shitfaced, as usual..on the car ride home from there, while in Brandon Farms, Kenny NEEDS to take a piss, so Dan pulls over the car for him..apparently before this, everyone in the car was being an a-hole to Dan, so he then pulled over and said "everyone shut the fuck up..anyone who wants to say shit can fucking walk home."..so of course in Ken's state of mind, walking home sounded like the best option at the time, so he got out of the car..Dan started to drive away and accidentally ran over his foot in the process..Kenny got so pissed that he screamed, punched/shattered Dan's car window, and ran off into the distance of the night..the glass cut Rob, Mike, Didun, and of course Ken's hand..now, as if that wasnt enough, Didun on the short ride back to his house barfed all over the back seat of Dan's car...the luck never runs out.

Also, as Cooper D already said, you gotta go see Inception..its fucking insane..you will be thinking about that shit for hours after you get out of the theaters..or as Brost nicely put it.."i havent been this confused about life since i hit puberty."

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

Okay, so i guess you are wondering why i would ever put a video of Lipps Inc's Funkytown on my blog, well i will tell you..the other night, we were at Judah's Lawrence house and Brost and myself were scoping the out the female scene..i asked Toast what his opinion was on the looks of this one girl and his views came out like this...

"well Jeff, let me just say this...i'd take her to Funkytown." -Ryan Brost

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

I'm deeply sorry that i have not posted in FOREVER..i am currently at the beach and have very very limited internet access, so bare with me for about another week if you could..this week's quote is a first time quote getter..about 7 or 8 guys were sitting in Tommy's basement watching Hot Tub Time Machine (FUCKING HILARIOUS btw) and being blessed by the herb's essence, as Nas would so nicely put it..and i heard a loud buzzing noise to my left, so i look over and i see a house fly caught inside of a spider web, working as hard as he could to get out..so i tap Ben and tell him to look at it, and he blankly stares for close to 15 seconds, and the first thing that he says is...

"Great fucking web." -Ben Chapin

...so of course i lost it..and all of the other guys huddled around to see what the commotion was..so there we are, 8 guys, watching these two spiders attack a poor house fly as if they were gladiators fighting against one another..we were cheering, applauding, booing, everything you can think of..and finally Pat says, "if i were that fly, i would probably want to be saved."..so we took a vote, and all of us (with the exception of Birk) voted that the fly should live..so Tommy got his pocket knife, killed the two spiders and cut the fly out of the web..the fly hit the ground and took a few steps as we all watched in CRAZY anticipation..after about 5 seconds of walking the fly takes off into the air..Tom's basement ERUPTED! High-fives, hugs and celebration like we just won a championship....

Man, the things that amuse us..just another night on The Block though.

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

Hey all, its MB quote of the week time..so, i have found that when i blaze the smaller things in life get way more funny to me..and when i went to look in the "drafts" section of my phone, where i usually keep MBQOTW candidates, i found a few quotes in which i thought were HILARIOUS when i was inhaling, but looking back, i think that i was just not thinking straight..so, i've decided to dedicate this week to my draft box full of weird things that i thought were funny in a different world...

1. A few people were passing around the peace pipe in a circle, and i said that i was done with it, so then Maggie passed it to Max, who then looked at Jane and passed it to her, while she looked at it and said..

"I can't do this, I don't want to be the drug third wheel!"-Jane Rosenblatt

2. Tommy, Evan and myself were sitting in Tom's basement watching the trailer for the new Knight and Day movie and in one part of it Tom Cruise self proclaims himself as "The Guy", so we all chuckled and Tom yelled...

"Tom Cruise IS the fucking guy!"-Tommy Rush

we both couldn't agree more.

3. Last but not least, i have literally zero background on this one, i just know it was said and put in my phone for some reason, so please dont ask how it came about, its just what i had written down...

"I wish that I had chickens."-Evan Dinger

p.s. the leprechaun in the picture actually kinda looks like me right now with this world cup beard that i am growing for Brazil..its pitiful...but necessary.

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

This week's quote is pretty self explanatory..basically, the alcohol well went dry for the night and it came down to this...

"yo guys, this may sound pretty gay, but lets just go get some food and sip some wine coolers at my house....no homo."- Dan "The Bum Master" Vukcevich

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

This week's quote was voted by the people, not myself, therefore i had to let Jodie McButterlips do the write-up, so here it goes:

June 11th, 2010, a day that will live in infamy. It was a day which we never thought would come, a day that will be remembered for years to come. This was the day that Jeffrey Joseph Radice roasted his first bone. Then his second..and his third...and fourth...and fifth. Needless to say, he freaked out a little bit, but it ended up being a night that was quite enjoyable. As Heffwa paced around the room, Rob asked the question of "how ya feelin there buddy?" and Jeff responded with his first MBQOW saying:

"I feel like a fucking retard."- Jeffrey "Cheech" Radice.

i'll just say this...i was trying to tell Rob that i was doing okay, but i literally couldnt make out a sentence, so that's what came out.

Good looks on the write up Yug.

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

Hey everyone, my deepest sorrows for the lack of posts on the blog lately, and for being late with MBQOTW..last night, myself, SnipeDaddyJohnSauce and Moon decided to pull an all-nighter and play FIFA literally alllll night long, so i literally havent been on the computer in the last few days..but anyways, the quote this week comes from some conversation in Birky's basement and the topic of conversation was this year's infamous "Birkfest" and the date that it will be held on..Birk of course is the only one who knows the exact date, and never releases that information to the general public until the day before, but he did tell us that it would fall on a week day this year..this upset our posse, especially Tommy because of our recent hirings at the YMCA Summer Camp..after Birk told us that The Dueg said...

"fuuuck...i mean, that doesnt suck that bad for me, i just feel bad for the kids that i'm going to be in charge of the next day, because that will not be pretty..." -Thomas Rush

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

This week's quote comes from another night on the town..we were at Lacey's house and Brost and myself were sitting outside at a table, where Toast found a pack of cigarettes and decided to put one in his mouth, just for shits..now, i would say that upwards of 7 people came up to him and said "Brost, you smoke cigarettes, thats weird." and every single time he responded...

"i just bite it, its for the look..i dont light it."

which is of course from Will Smith's "Gettin Jiggy Wit It"..but literally no one understood what he was saying, NO ONE..so after the 7th or 8th person looked at him with confusion he finally got up out of his chair and screamed...

"GOD DAMMIT PEOPLE, DOESNT ANYONE KNOW WHO FUCKING WILL SMITH IS?!?" -Ryan Brost

aaaand, i kinda promised Michelle that if she jumped in the pool with all her clothes on, in the middle of a party, that i would put her on the blog..so without further adieu....

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

First off, i'd like to say that i am glad to have almost everyone back home again..you were all missed dearly..this week's quote comes from Judah's sarcastic ass remarks..Anthony requested that we come up with a company called "Cotton Mouth Rolling Papers" for rolling your own "tobacco"..and Judah shit on his dreams by saying...

"why the fuck would we name it that, thats like naming a condom company AIDS, you idiot." -Judah Matheney

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

Some of you may understand this week's quote, and some may not, but if you dont get it, just ask me and i'll explain..so, the other night in Dinger's basement, a bunch of guys were civil warring it and Clements comes down the basement with a huge batch of peanut butter crackers, and Pat jokingly says to him..

"hey Clements, last time you were eating peanut butter crackers around me, SHIT HIT THE FAN."- Patrick Rose

...all parties laughed.

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

I havent been around the crew all too much this week, because i have been a tad under the weather, so there were few opportunities to earn this week's MBQOTW..i'm sure there was no lack in comedy while i was gone as well..but anyways, this week's quote started with a few guys on A-Hill's deck shotgunning beers, when Robby D claimed that he could do 5 in a row with ease..so he bites (literally) into the first one, makes a small hole and crushes it like we knew he would..and about 8 or so minutes later, 5 beers down the tubes, all shotgunned..honestly, an amazing site to see, after seeing Danny's poor effort last week..so, obviously Rob was no longer sober when Pat challenged him to a game of Wii Bowling..Pat, being the second best bowler in the league (myself being 1st, of course) was pretty confident in his chances of beating Rob, and since Dinger had seen Pat play the night before, he jumped on Moon's bandwagon as well, by stating this...

"I will literally hack off my penis with one of Hill's knives if Rob wins this game." -Evan Dinger

...sure enough, the game was played, Evan's genitalia is in full function, and Diesel owes Pat a bottle of luxury alcohol.

p.s. Happy Mother's Day, if there are any mama's that read my blog.

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

Well, this weekend=certified SHITSHOW..towed cars, staples in the head, rap concerts and like always, vomit..anyways, tonight, as in sunday night, we were trying to see Nightmare On Elm Street, which i have been waiting for, for what seems like forever..but these mofo's took too long with their pre-movie activities, that we missed the movie..Snoop Dueggy Dueg so nicely explained that the reason he was so late was..

"Dude, i got really caught up watching the Patriot at my house, and like almost joined the army online because of it." -Tommy Rush

But anyways, the night did not end there..once we decided that the movie was no longer a possibility we went back down to Dan's basement, where Jodie McB was already 6 or 7 beerz deep, with 5 left in the fridge..somehow the rest of us got thinking about this and persuaded him to take the bet on whether or not he could finish those 5 brews in less than 15 minutes, without throwing up for $30..no pissing allowed..Dan took the bet on, only to fail miserably, getting more and more hammered as he attempted to chug beer after beer..when the timer went off there were still 2 beers left, so we told him that if he could finish those 2 beers within 5 minutes, we would give him $40..The Ultimate accepts the bet, takes one sip, and YAKS it all up..oh man, valiant effort, night full of laughs, just great times on The Block.

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

Sorry about the picture, it doesnt really have anything to do with the quote, but it just had to be done..anyways, this week's quote comes from one of the many, many bickering arguments between Ditto and JMB..while we were stuck in some traffic on the way to the Mr. BlowItByTheO's concert Bri decided that he was gonna get out of the car and run around to each car asking people for a lighter, and when Mel Kiper Jr. told Ditto that it probably wasnt the best idea to do that, he said...

Ditto: "i dont go to Stanford, i go to Rutgers..clearly i made some bad decisions along the way, thats what i do."

Dan: "i mean, so did i..i go to Mercer."

Ditto: "well, clearly you made way worse decisions Dan..."

....looks like Mercer loses again.

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

As you all should know, its that time of year again..the playoffs are here..and of course that entails of many many beers being drank in the pad, every single night..this year's playoffs have gotten off to a great start, considering every night so far has been a complete gong show (trucker BJs, suicidal cops, and a whole lotta high fives)..yes, i am pissed that the devils shit the bed tonight in overtime..anyways, before all of this started, Tommy and myself had been anticipating the opening day of "the offs" being a pretty big deal, so we were going on the rants that we always go on and The Dueg decided that these were two things that the first day of playoffs were as big as...

"this day is as big as Dan's peen and the Ditto's guidoness all in one!"

and..

"this day is bigger than if Tiger Woods had been bangin' Ricky Martin on the reg, and America just found out about it.." -Thomas Rush

Mercer Block Quote Of The Week

This week we have a first time MBQOTW getter..it went something like this, on tuesday night Jodie McButterlips had some people over at his house, and at about 11pm or so, Pat Jablonski decided that it was his time of the night to leave, so he took off and ran almost alllll the way from the Yugosavage's house to his house in B Farms..so, as he is running, he gets pretty close to his house and he decides that he just cant make it any further because his cell phone and all his stuff kept falling out of his pockets, so he explained it to us like this...

"My shit kept falling out, so i had to call my mom and was like, MOM! my shit keeps falling out..you gotta come pick me up." -Pat Jablonski